Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Top 6 Ways to Stall Bedtime

I went from too much blogging to down right blog neglect lately. I let too much time pass and started to feel like I couldn't post about C until I posted about A and B. Soon I was letting D, E and F fly by just for the sake of chronology. I finally just touched a doorknob 15 times and turned all my canned goods facing forward - now I feel ready to move on.

This is what I wanted to document today, in hopes that someday I can give this list to my own grandchildren for a head start!

The Top 6 Ways to Stall Bedtime*

1. Act like your parents haven't fed you in a month. Timing is critical here: hunger pains must begin after "almost bedtime" warning but before final bedtime announcement.

2. Pick the longest book(s) you can find. If you have younger siblings, just tell them to look for the books with the most words.

3. Pretend your parent is speaking a different language while they're reading. Look confused, ask them to repeat the page or book because you couldn't understand what they were saying.

4. When you sense that #3 is failing, take a potty break. Repeat potty break after each page. If parent becomes suspicious, say you forgot to wash your hands, still have soap on your hands, etc.

5. During prayers, express a strong desire to pray for every person in the whole wide world by naming them individually. Act like your parent is Satan if they refuse.

6. Fake an injury or illness. This must occur after books and prayers, but before your parent leaves the room. This is your last chance. Do not allow your parent to leave the room. Make sure your symptoms worsen dramatically with each step your parent takes toward the door.

*as developed and tested by Elizabeth and Amanda

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