Thursday, February 19, 2009

Mom School

I've been posting waaaaaaay too much. It's been a long, cabin fever kind of week. But tomorrow I get to go to school. A full day legal seminar necessary to keep up my law license (even though I'm not currently practicing law). Since the class credit hour deadline is the end of this month, the seminar should be packed with fellow procrastinators.

Generally, a seminar audience is made up of grown-ups who look and feel like this:

But after this week, I may be the only one at the seminar who feels like this:


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Harry Potter-ish

Amanda: I don't want to go to schooooooooooool.

Elizabeth: You have to, it's important.

Amanda: I don't like school.

Elizabeth: Yes you do, school is fun, they teach you magic.

Amanda: They don't teach magic at my school.

Elizabeth: Yes they do, today they do.

{long, grumpy pause}

Amanda: If they do that, I'm gonna do magic to disappear.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Gift of Gabba

I heard that Uncle George is unfamiliar with the quality television program Yo Gabba Gabba. It's a favorite in this house, and today we've been watching it a lot since Elizabeth is still sick. I thought I'd take a break from Lysol duty and catch George up on what he is missing...

Once upon a time a bunch of people went to a rave and started brainstorming kid show ideas. Not really, but you get the idea. The result was Yo Gabba Gabba, which I can only describe as Alice in Wonderland meets Pee Wee Playhouse. The premise is simple: DJ Lance has a magic boom box that opens to reveal toy monsters who come to life. They sing, dance, and welcome lots of bands, movie stars, and other famous folk to teach us something. Biz Markee teaches beat boxing, Devo teaches art, people like Tony Hawk show off cool tricks.

The best part is when someone comes on the show and teaches their own made-up dance move. It can make me cringe sometimes; it only works if the person isn't embarrassed to be dancing with a bunch of monsters on a magic boom box set. Hector Jimenez (from Nacho Libre) wasn't embarrassed and totally owned his dancey dance. Here it is, the jumping jellyfish...

Yo Gabba Gabba with (Hector Jimenez)

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Viral President's Day

This President's Day our house is 20% viral; poor Elizabeth gets to test out the nasty bug first this year. It does not look fun. It hasn't stopped her from teaching us all about President's Day. Most importantly, George Washington was very brave because when his teeth rotted away he let someone poke hippopotamus teeth into his gums. Also, Abe Lincoln was very tall and then he died.

Amanda added "all I know is that the real President is Book Obama but that is a very hard name to say."

Here is a fun quiz to see how well you know your states. Jay nailed it with 96%. I'm embarrassed to say that the Midwest ruined me and I only scored 82%. I guess I'm not quite ready to run for President.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Elizabeth, it was during your seventh year of life that you became Liz. You were looking at the 24 class Valentine cards that you had to sign, and a nickname was born. Genius. In one night you went from the longest name in the class to the shortest. Nicely done, kid.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Note To Self

You have approximately one month before your computer starts random shutdowns.

Also, stop blogging and search the immediate area for red and purple markers.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Still Stinky Little Neenerheads

Yesterday was preschool registration for Jack and Amanda and we were the very first people there. I turned on all the lights, put our name in the bowl, and picked out the seats where we would sit for the next hour. I made sure the seats were facing the registration table and that the table was far away from the stage area.

As I was unpacking the kids' water cups and spill-proof snack cups, I spilled my entire Diet Mountain Dew on the registration forms. It didn't count because no one was there to see it. I had time to clean the mess and find a spot to dry them out. Soon, other Moms started to walk in with their children, and the school directors started to pull names from the bowl.

While the first names were called, I watched my kids sitting in their chairs - behaving. Amanda brought three toys and was sharing them all with friends. Jack was only taking one goldfish out at a time. He wasn't even smashing them. When the kids started to roam around the room in one big giggle gang, they were still on good behavior.

When I spotted the gang peeking into an open storage area, I walked over and closed the accordion wall. As I walked back to my chair in my ironed clothes, blown-dry hair and lipstick, I started to feel my heart racing. Why did I just do that? I just closed that wall. I didn't even look at anyone. Not even a side-eye Mom-to-Mom "uh-oh" before I did that.

I sat down and Jack was right behind me, climbing into his chair. Someone asked me a question about teachers. I answered without thinking. Why are rookies asking me questions? This is way too organized. I am way too organized. Where is my freakin' ponytail? Am I wearing a necklace? Who are these children and what have they done with my stinky little neenerheads?


More names were called. People joked about always being the last one called. And then I saw Amanda up on stage about to play the drums. As I hurried to the stage, Jack grabbed himself with both hands and ran after me yelling "poo poo! poo poo!" I brought both of them back to the table, but they quickly followed another girl into the hall toward the stairs. I heard Jack yelling "hide! hide!" and found them crouching in a corner with their eyes closed.

I took the kids back to the table. Jack began smashing his goldfish and Amanda was mad that I wouldn't let her be a rock star. Our name was called, but before I made it to the registration table, the kids were in the hallway again. I excused myself for a second, found the kids hiding in the same corner, and gently escorted them to the registration table. I handed in my damp paperwork, collected our belongings, changed Jack's diaper, and dragged the screaming kids to their respective classrooms.

By the time I got to my car, I felt more like myself. A frazzled mess. All was right in the world. And I couldn't contain my smile when I picked the kids up and realized...

Amanda's pants were on backward.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Superbowl Spread

The kiddos are proud of their Superbowl spread. It's just the 5 of us so I'm not sure why we made so much food! We were each responsible for one dish, although Jack didn't choose or make his dish. He still looks pretty happy (at least from the nose up). The kids recipes are all from the new Disney Magic Kitchen Cookbook, and the girls made their own dishes.

Amanda: Snow-Topped Party Cupcakes
Elizabeth: Disappearing Chocolate Chip Cookies
Jack: Don't Be A Chicken Cups
Jay: Rotel Dip with Ground Turkey
Nikki: Jay Chili (sirloin) and Nikki Chili (veggie)

Now we are stuffed and ready for the Puppy Bowl. I mean Superbowl.