Stick In Nose

Last night Amanda went to the emergency room. She is fine. The title of this post is what Jay was able to fit within "description of injury" in the computer system at the hospital. They apparently came out to check Amanda's nose, thinking a stick was in fact lodged in her nose. Thank goodness it wasn't.

Long story short, Elizabeth used a plastic pixie stick to unlock our bedroom door. I was in the bedroom, Jay was downstairs. I locked the door for some brief sanity and in hopes that the girls would actually just go to sleep if my door was locked. Elizabeth came in with the pixie stick still in her hand, Amanda followed but passed Elizabeth to walk towards me. When I stood up and told them to get back to their room, Amanda turned and ran. She ran right into Elizabeth, and right into the pixie stick.

I watched it all happen, and saw that the stick went right up Amanda's nose. By the time I scooped her up the blood was coming down - it was a lot of blood. But the bleeding stopped just as quickly as it started, and then we were just trying to determine where the wound was, how far up, etc. She actually seemed perfectly fine after about 5 minutes, but we couldn't tell where the actual injury had been. We decided an ER trip was really the only way to make sure we weren't missing something. Of course, I imagined every "what if" in the book, especially "what if" her brain was punctured.

Jay took Amanda to the ER and everything checked out fine. They didn't see anything other than superficial abrasions, and they informed Jay that there is a pretty hard plate that would prevent "brain stabbing" except in circumstances of extremely hard punctures. Good to know.

Amanda was a trooper. Except for when the actual incident occurred, she was as cool as a cucumber. As for myself, I don't care to ever again witness a nasal stabbing of any kind, especially when it involves my child, lots of blood, and a wound I can't even see. All of the "what ifs" haunted Jay and I all day today. Amanda barely remembered the event!

Myrtle Beach

This past week Jay had a conference in Myrtle Beach, so we made it a family event for the weekend. We lucked out with an incredibly nice and kid friendly condo. It was like the owners designed the place for our family, right down to the baby proof outlet covers.

This was the first thing the girls saw in "their" room and they immediately decided it was the best place ever. Jack wasn't so lucky as he slept in the master closet in a pack-n-play, but he still found the condo to be a blast. He was obsessed with the television because he could actually reach the buttons. On.

Off. Repeat 1000 times.

Even a few stints in the pokey would not deter Jack from his t.v. button mission for long.

The kids enjoyed sitting on a parrot sofa while watching Spongebob.

They rode dinosaurs...

...and waves (the fake tourist trap kind).

The girls hit the sea shell jackpot. They collected more sea shells in 10 minutes than during all their prior sea shell collecting ventures combined.

The girls are also already talking about what condo we might get next year. Last year "their" room was a nautical theme, this year it was mermaids. Next year Jack gets upgraded from the closet to the kids' room, so they're all hoping for a pirate theme next time around.

Leprechaunitis

lep·re·chau·ni·tis [lěp'rĭ-kŏ-nī'tĭs]

–noun
1. a stomach virus that presents initial symptoms on St. Patrick's Day; once misdiagnosed by your Mom as a deep fear of the leprechaun visiting your preschool; an annual reminder that in this house, it ain't over 'til March 17th.

Signs of Spring

This afternoon, the girls went on a backyard mission to document signs of Spring. I gave them a camera and a field journal to record their findings. They took almost 100 pictures! Here is their report (minus about 95 pictures):

We see flawrs.

I see the toolips.

I see a tmado plant.

I see the ball.

Thanks for the picsrs.

The Almost Throwdown with Bobby Flay

My Mom met Bobby Flay this weekend in Charleston! He signed some cookbooks for my Mom (and for me!) and they chatted a bit. It could have ended there, without Flay ever knowing that he had been in the company of a Pressure Cooker Goddess. But anyone who has tried her Spaghetti with pressure cooked Italian sausage, meatballs, and tomato sauce knows this is a dish worthy of a throwdown victory. My Mom planned to jokingly challenge Flay to a pressure cooker throwdown.

I'm not exactly sure what happened because my Mom FROZE. As in, deer in the headlights, face bright red, etc. She was apparently able to make a Throwdown challenge but it all came out wrong. Italian sausage (the most important part!) was never mentioned. My Mom remembers saying something about spaghetti and meatballs and Bobby Flay said "you cook spaghetti in a pressure cooker??" This only made her frozen state worse, so she couldn't even clarify that only the meat and sauce is pressure cooked. She ended up mumbling something about meatballs and then moved along.

I haven't stopped laughing since she first told me the story. I know that makes me a terrible daughter, but I can't help it. It's classic Eileen. And it's pretty much exactly what happened to her during another brush with fame years ago. Mom, please forgive me...

My Mom was was on the Price is Right years ago (when I was in high school) and it is still an unpleasant subject. She was kind of duped into going and was told it was unlikely she would actually get called down. Of course, she was called to "come on down!" and immediately went numb, remembering very little about what happened next. We have the whole thing on VHS tape and like to remind her every now and then. She didn't make it past the neon bidding podiums and still blames this on the trickery of a tennis racket display and unnecessary intimidation by Bob Barker himself.

Both of these stories are hilarious to me because my Mom just isn't the type of person who would ever freeze up in real life. But somehow Bobby Flay and Bob Barker made her unable to think or speak clearly.

So, I played around with Photoshop to see if this picture would be her worst nightmare. I had to do it Mom, it was too easy! Do I still get my cookbook????

Top 6 Ways to Stall Bedtime

I went from too much blogging to down right blog neglect lately. I let too much time pass and started to feel like I couldn't post about C until I posted about A and B. Soon I was letting D, E and F fly by just for the sake of chronology. I finally just touched a doorknob 15 times and turned all my canned goods facing forward - now I feel ready to move on.

This is what I wanted to document today, in hopes that someday I can give this list to my own grandchildren for a head start!

The Top 6 Ways to Stall Bedtime*

1. Act like your parents haven't fed you in a month. Timing is critical here: hunger pains must begin after "almost bedtime" warning but before final bedtime announcement.

2. Pick the longest book(s) you can find. If you have younger siblings, just tell them to look for the books with the most words.

3. Pretend your parent is speaking a different language while they're reading. Look confused, ask them to repeat the page or book because you couldn't understand what they were saying.

4. When you sense that #3 is failing, take a potty break. Repeat potty break after each page. If parent becomes suspicious, say you forgot to wash your hands, still have soap on your hands, etc.

5. During prayers, express a strong desire to pray for every person in the whole wide world by naming them individually. Act like your parent is Satan if they refuse.

6. Fake an injury or illness. This must occur after books and prayers, but before your parent leaves the room. This is your last chance. Do not allow your parent to leave the room. Make sure your symptoms worsen dramatically with each step your parent takes toward the door.

*as developed and tested by Elizabeth and Amanda

Pssst...You're Old.

Yesterday we were looking for birthday gifts for two of Elizabeth's friends. They're both classmates (Girl and Boy, not related) and having back to back birthday parties tomorrow. This is kind of how it went:

Mom: So, what should we get Boy?
Liz: Bakugans.
Mom: What?
Liz: Bakugans.
Mom: Back-a-who?
Liz: Bakugans. Boy loves them and all the boys in my class think they're cool.
Mom: What about Smurfs, don't kids like Smurfs?
Liz: What?
Mom: Okay, where are Bakamons?
Liz: Bakugans. Back. Uhhhh. Gans.
Mom: Are they like Pokeman?
Liz: What?

{Reluctantly pick out freaky Bakugan}

Mom: Okay, now what should we get Girl?
Liz: Girl likes Hanna Montana. We should get her something Hanna Montana.
Mom: Pick out another Bakugan.